Breathlessly I must report on the most recent PCBYCP Gala event held at an undisclosed location in Melbourne. In celebration of the 120th anniversary of the launching of “The Importance of being Earnest’, by Oscar Wilde, (an obscure Anglo/Irish playwright and poet) at the St James Theatre. A special bravura dedication to ‘Poonces and Sondomites’ was made by none other than “The Scarlet Marquis’ himself In a florid and exuberant display of coarse innuendo, strident homophobia and grotesque distortions of the English language, The Marquis put forth his own interpretation of Wilde, and made a scathing attack upon ‘sondomites’ the world over. The Marquis is not a literary man, and was guilty of malapropisms and grammatical incorrectitude….but he was not lacking in venom, some wit and PUNCH!!
Shown here, the lucky Marquis is being ably assisted by Sen Det. Louise Lautrec of the The Russell Street CIB, in the “Hunt for Wilde”. Confused and incoherent with rage, the Scarlet Marquis was under the mistaken belief that Wilde had fled in Exile, to Australia rather than Italy or France, and was posing as none other than the Federal Minister for Education, (and I use these words guardedly) the Rt Hon. Christopher Pyne.
Sadly, the Marquis could not find Wilde, (the minister in the room) and so was unable to “ Shoot the cur Wilde down” with the Elephant Gun provided. Still though, the search continues for Wilde, and the Marquis was last seen packing for Ireland, where they’ve allowed ‘Poonces and Sondomites’ to ‘engage in filthy union under law’. Before leaving, the Marquis applauded the Australian Government for showing no such interest in matters of humanity and imagination. We can only Heartily concur. As the Federal Attorney General put it; (the luminescent George Brandis) “Queensberry Rules”!! O.K?